The most important thing we've ever learned
The most important thing we've learned
So far as children are concerned
Is never, never, never let
Them near your television set
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.

Never ever let them
Never ever let them
Ooh ooh
Never ever let them.

It rots the senses in the head!
It kills imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind!
So dull so dull!
He can no longer understand
A fairytale and a fairyland!
A fairyland a fairyland!
His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
He cannot think he only sees!

He only sees
He only sees.

Regarding little mike teavee
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height
But if we can't it serves him right.