[Verse 1:]
They can make cars drive themselves
And prove time-travel ain't crazy as hell
They've even got a pill to make a soft package hard
But as far as we've came
When it comes to love and to blame
And the breaking of a loved heart
I think we're sorely lacking methods
So I'm going with old time-tested:
A jukebox and a bar.

[Chorus 1:]
One pushes me up the mountain
And one rolls me down the hill
While I sit in a phosphorescent dark
So you can keep your fancy potions
And your incandescent notions
As for me and my barely-beating heart
There's no better prescription
For my broken disposition
Than a jukebox and a bar.

[Verse 2:]
We got pinpoint GPS
All you need is an address
But her love is the one thing I can't find
Meanwhile no one has a clue
How to make her memory turn loose
So much for academic minds.

[Chorus 2:]
One pushes me up the mountain
And one rolls me down the hill
While I sit here in a phosphorescent dark
So you can keep your fancy potions
And your incandescent notions
As for me and my barely-beating heart
There's no better prescription
For my the human condition
Than a jukebox and a bar.

[Outro:]
May look like music, booze, and beer
There's a whole more goin' on in here
Than a jukebox and a bar.